Howie's Fan Club

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Howie's Letter to the Pet Sitter

Dear Aunt Bitsy:

This here is your nephew, Howie Pee. Maw sez you are gonna be sittin on the house while she is gone this weekend. *looks with amazement up at rooftop* If you see any dang birds while yew are up there, could you catch me one?
My kittypal Jane tells me they are delishush.

Anyway, that is beside the point. I gots some important instructions fur you that maw probly forgot to mention in her haste to go far far away from her poor starvin unloved and fergottin puggies. Here are the instructions so pay attention.

Number One
Meals R IMPORTANT. We should have at least eight of these a day, in between snacks. And Don't skimp. It's imperative that the case of Merrick's Venison Stew is completely empty by the time maw gets home in 2 days.

Number Two
Annie will try to tell yew she is the boss o' me. She ain't, even tho she can whoop me whenever she feels like it. Just because I run behind Maw's legs when Annie starts chewing on me is no reason to think I am not the boss. That's why it is necessary fur you to throw Annie's favorite toy over the fence. That will keep her preoccupied until Maw gets home, and maybe even leave her bowl unattended at mealtime so I can clean that up for her.

Number Four. (WUTT? I can't count! I'm a PUG!!! sheesh)
At bedtime, we gots a certain routine and I don't want you to mess it up. Java needs a booster booster to git up on the bed. I don't need a booster booster cuz I am ATHLETIC HOWARD WONDERDOGGY. Annie needs a booster booster to get on the bed. Don't give her a booster. Don't ask why, just don't give her a booster, k?

When Java is ready to go to bed, he will go sit on the bathmat in front of the shower. That is Java's BOOSTER PAD. It is real important you wait for him to get sat down and ready for his booster. Don't try to sneak up behind him and grab him, that makes him real annoyed, and when he is annoyed, waves of cheesiness happen. Trust me on this. You don't want waves of cheesiness in the big bed.

Number Three.
Mealtimes are important. What? I KNOW I mentioned this one already, but it begs revisitin. In addition to the Merrick's stew fur doggies, which is good but not fillin, there is Country Cookout Kibble in the plastic container in the pantry. Mom probly forgot to tell you to leave that open for me when you are gone. Don't forget, k? Otherwise I could dry up and blow away. Annie will not dry up and blow away. She is little but that chick is stout.

If yew got any questions, don't call maw. She is bizzee. Just check with me. You know where to find me.



Aniemother said...

Hahaha... You're very clever to write instructions. I'm not sure how happy I am about your trying to starve my Annie, though.


*blowing kisses to Annie*

Pearl said...

hehehe Oh my sweet Howie, you gave Aunt Bitsy ALMOST all the info she needs!

You forgot to tell her about me comin' to visit for the weekend! Now I'll be there around 6AM on Saturday mornin'. I've got plans for us to hit the Outlet malls, lunch at the Olive Garden, and a couples massage that afternoon. K?


Melissa and Emmitt said...

OMG! still laughing over here. howie, you needs to write a book.

you are so funny and have a perfect take on the world around you.

we love you!
m & ep

Nevis said...

Awww...super cute!

Stubby said...

Howie - you are so smart! Food is THE most important thing to puggies. I know that I will starve if I don't have at least eight meals a day.
I hope your aunt reads your instructions very carefully or you will not be around when your mom gets home.
Have a great weekend.
Stubby xoxo

Becky said...

Howie, you are really some pug! Your kitty Looks alot like my kitty, Bijou. I love calicos!

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Hi Howie , what an excellent book of rules to be followed while your maw is away. You thought of everything, I think. It's very important to get the word out quick that you do not want to be bullied around, and that if you don;t get enough food- you could faint. We certainly do not want you lookin for any holes in fences. So speak loudly

Laura said...

Looks like you got all the bases covered. As if there was any doubt!

Puglette said...

i am so glad you made sure to write out the instructions for your sitter. it is always best to leave instructions. please let us know if she gets everything done.

Tere said...

I wanna squeeze that Howie! He's got it all under control. Love it!

Rachel said...

That was very smart of you to cover all those bases the Maw left unattended for you auntie-poo, Howie. I'm sure she will appreciate all the tips. Good luck - with her sitting up there on the roof all day, she might forget one or two of the 8 daily feedings!

Anonymous said...

Aww aren't you a sweet boy to write out insturctions... and yes food is very important.. don't forget the treats!

Clover said...

Hi Howie!
I really enjoyed your list of instructions! It sounds like you will be taken care of properly now.
Love Clover xo

Lori M Rowe said...

Girl, you are just as wacked out about your dogs as I am, I new I liked you!

Pearl and Daisy said...

OMD Howie, you make our Mommy laugh a bunch. We just think you're very smart and organized (even if you have trouble countin').

Pug love from,
Pearl & Daisy

Moco said...

Thank goodness your auntie has you to make sure that she gets all the info she needs while your maw is gone. Those humans leave a lot to be diesired.


Loved the instructions!!
Did they work.

Do you puggies have a picture of you all with flowers? Mommy is doing my Doggie with Spring Flower post tomorrow night and I don't got no puggie pictures.

Please try to find one and e-mail to our new e-nail address on my profile.


Pearl said...

Dear Howie,

I am missing you somethin' terrible. You haven't blogged in about 367879 days and I am worried. Is your Momma still gone? Are you ok? Do you have the swine flu? Please get back to me. I am concerned.


Two Little Lambs said...

I stumbled across your blog and was so excited to find a blog devoted to pugs. I have 2 pugs of my own -(picture on the sidebar of my blog) and love them dearly.... Love your blog!